This was my third year at burning man and it was one hell of a great week! Nothing will ever compare to my first burning man experience. That first week changed my life. For the first time in my entire life, I felt comfortable being myself completely without anyone judging me. It was liberating and life changing! The second year I was not prepared to really soak up the experience as my dog Willie was very ill and my mother was essentially dying of cancer while I was in the desert. This year was about having fun and preparing myself for a huge transition in my life.
I traveled to burning man with Aji. Several days before we planned to travel together we decided our lives would be richer and healthier if we were not in a partnership. We essentially mutually and amicably broke things off but decided as deep loving friends we would experience burning man together. We had crazy fun adventures on the trek from Denver to Reno. On the second day of the festival I made a huge realization that I was not letting myself go and embracing burning man because I was too preoccupied with the dynamic between Aji and I. It was a very simple and clear equation. When I was around Aji I was not having fun, when I was not around Aji I was having fun. I know he was feeling the same way too so we pretty much went out separate ways. In the end, we both got so much more out of the week and now we are able to share with each other and find joy that they had such a pleasurable time.
The morning I had mentally made the decision to experience burning man without Aji was the morning I met Cougar! That morning I went to the Temple (The temple is a massive art piece constructed of wood that the residents of this festival, 50,000 people, can bring their stories, sorrows, fears, grief to the temple. People post pictures, write stories on the walls, meditate, sing chants, drop off poems etc. and the temple is burned on the Sunday evening of the last day of the event. It has a huge amount of energy in the space - I found it to be one of the most spiritual places I have ever spent time in). At the temple I wrote my notes on the wall to Willie and to Mom telling them how much I miss them and I love them and there is still some sadness in my heart for them not being in my life. I did so without emotion, it was unexpected, I thought I would have serious sadness from this activity. I just did not know in that moment that I was just not in a place that morning to let myself to go an emotional space. After writing my note I sat down on a bench and within minutes a gentleman joined me. We engaged quickly and easily into a fascinating conversation. I learned that he was the lead carpenter on the temple which blew me out of the water. I was sitting next to the man who had an integral part in building this structure. After an hour later we both agreed that we were hungry and we decided to hop on our bikes to find some pancakes on the playa. Without forks we found ourselves eating pancakes with out hands and getting into a very fun syrup war! For the rest of the time at the festival, we spent nearly all of our time together running around, falling in love with each other!
Two nights after meeting Cougar we made our way to the temple late in the evening. I took him into the small cave where I wrote my notes to Willie and Mom. I asked if I could read them out loud to him. As soon as I began reading a rush of emotion came through me. I finished reading the piece that I wrote and then went right into telling my story. The story of finding out about mom's cancer, my fears, the feeling of being alone in Michigan away from my family, the whole story. I cried myself through it, not holding back one tear. When I was finished telling the story I collapsed from exhaustion. I laid in this small nook and Cougar stood guard to give me time alone. It was so cleansing and releasing - I had no idea how much my body needed that release. I think I was waiting for someone to be with me to have that emotional release. Cougar was there for me and with me. To make matters even more amazing - he was the man who built this temple - he had apart in building that small cave where I found my emotional release. Meeting Cougar, the temple and that emotional release were by far the greatest things that happened to me all week.
Of course there were hundred of other moments that filled me up with joy. I manned the advice booth and gave random people some advice, I swung on a 40 foot swing, I made a beautiful dinner for my camp mates, I gave and received hundreds of loving and deep hugs, I saw the most brilliant double rainbow, I drank delicious home brew beer all week, I wore crazy fun costumes, I danced my heart out, I climbed to the top of many art structures for a birds eye view of the city, I cleaned people's faces, I made fun connections with people from all over the world from all different backgrounds, I was inspired by art and poetry, I got to dance blindfolded with a group of people, I had one of the most amazing massages, I got to participate in monkey chanting and on and on and on and on!
The playa magic continued when I left the playa. I stayed an extra day to help clean up and I then found a ride out of burning man. He took me to a friends house in Reno. She was not home but she left the door open for me so I could get in. I took a memorable shower - (I clearly remember all three showers after burning man - a proper shower after 10 days in the desert will always be a memorable shower experience) and as I was lounging on the porch I looked up my flight information on the internet. My heart stopped! My flight was 6:30am that morning, it was 3:00pm. As soon as I had made the realization a car pulled up to the house. The couple walked to the front door and asked if Dawn was home. I told them she was out, and said, "I know you do not know me, but if you might have some time to spare, I need a ride to the airport." The airport was about a 5 minute drive away and without hesitation they loaded me up to their car. Thank god for Southwest Airlines! They did not charge me and I was able to board a plane that night. The unfortunate situation caused me to sleep overnight at the LA airport, but it was better than paying for a hotel.
I landed to Austin on Wednesday afternoon. I packed up my car that night from my apartment in Austin and drove to Houston the next day. I spent two days unpacking my car and repacking for my move to Colorado. By Saturday morning, my car was packed and ready to go. I had everything I needed in my car. It took me two days to drive from Houston to Fort Collins where I have found my new home!
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